a conversation with Julia

J: Momma, you know what I'm thinking about?

Me: no ... what's on your mind, sweetie?

J: I'm thinking about getting married. I already know who I'm going to marry when I finally get grown up ... it's Jonathan.

Me: Jonathan? Who is Jonathan?

J: He's not in my class ... he's in Ms. Valentine's class, and he is real romantic. He likes me a lot and I like him a lot.

Me: Why do you like him so much?

J: Well, he's cute ... I love his spiky hair and he wears real nice shirts. And ... (she lowers her voice a little) ... he is a tuffler.

Me: What on earth is a tuffler?

J: You don't know what a tuffler is?! A tuffler is a boy who is real tough. If anyone is bad to me, then he tuffles them up and they don't bother me any more.

Me: Oh, yes ... a tuffler. I see. Well, I do hope he isn't hurting people and getting in trouble for fighting at school.

(and yes ... I'm laughing while I'm saying that!)

J: If you don't stop laughing, I am going to call him right this minute and he will come tuffle you, too! (a little pause) OH ... and I forgot on important thing: Jonathan is a superhero. I am the only one who knows about it though because his mother won't let him wear his costume to school. None of the other kids know he has superpowers ... just me.

Me: Well, that's interesting, Julia ... I'm really glad you like Jonathan so much. But right now I think you should just focus on being friends and not think about marrying him, okay.

J: I'm not marrying him tomorrow, Momma! When he asked me, I just told him that I'd marry him after I'm all grown up. But he already gave me a ring, so it is for real.

Me: Where is it? I'd like to see the ring.

J: I lost it. But he told me it was okay and that he was going to get me another one. This time it will be a pink ring because that's my favorite color.

And then she skipped off ...

Oh, my goodness! I just keep laughing everytime I think about it.

Sweet Words to My Ears

Tonight Joel snuggled up next to me and said, "Momma ... I want to tell you something about you that you may not know. You take God and the Bible more seriously than a lot of other parents."

I asked him if he thought this was good or bad. And Joel said, "I meant that as a compliment. I think it is a good thing."

I don't know that I've ever heard sweeter words.

The Tale of David Joe

This morning a traveling Christian comedian walked into our office. It's kind of hard to just walk into my office ... to begin with it is located on the 3rd floor of the courthouse, and secondly there is no working elevator to get you up there. Since there are only 4 people who work on the 3rd floor of the courthouse, no one really ever comes up that way unless they absolutely need to come up there for something. There are days when no one makes the long climb up the stairs at all. The third floor of the courthouse can be a very lonely place to work.

Anyway, this man was just out promoting himself by selling his cd's and trying to drum up a few performances. I guess he thought that the four of us on the third floor might have some influence or something. If we did, do you think we'd be on the third floor?! But since he was from out of town, perhaps he just didn't know ...

He seemed like a nice enough man, in a rather oddball and goofy sort of way. I don't know ... maybe that's the way comedian's are supposed to be. But he was a little on the strange side ... nice, but definitely quirky.

The secretary just had the best conversation with him, though. They must have talked 20 minutes. She found out all about him and was delighted to discover that he was single. Can you see where this is going?

Yes, just before he left, she tried to fix me up on a date with him! I'm not joking ... she said, "Well, now before you go, since you are single and we've got this real nice single lady in our office, let me introduce y'all. Paige, come on out here and meet David Joe!"

I couldn't think of a good excuse not to go out to the main part of the office. She knew I wasn't on the phone and there wasn't any pressing business that I was taking care of ... so I went out to meet David Joe. Of course, as soon as I walked out, the secretary was all giddy as she introduced us. "Paige, this is David Joe ... he's a SINGLE, CHRISTIAN comedian. I thought you might like to meet him, being as you are single and all."

Thankfully, the poor man claimed to have a girlfriend back home in Tuscaloosa, AL. Bless her heart, I'm so glad it is her and not me! And I don't mean that in a mean way ... I'm just not interested in David Joe the traveling Christian comedian, though I wish him well as he travels around sharing God through laughter.

When Jesus Hauls Us Out

Today is rainy. As we left for church, Joel says, "Momma, I'm wondering about something ... What if it is raining when Jesus hauls us out of here. I'm worried we might get struck by lightening. That wouldn't be good, now would it?"

I had to giggle when I told him that I imagine God has all of that under control and we have no reason to worry about lightening during the rapture. I just laugh every time I think about his word choice ... Jesus hauling us out of here! I'm picturing being thrown over His shoulder like a sack of potatoes or being dragged by the shirt collar. I don't care how He hauls me out, as long as I'm with my Redeemer for eternity I have no reason to worry. Amen!

Up to my Knees

Joel was talking about which states he wanted to visit. He listed 10 or 12 states and then finally said, "Really I just want to be the first person in my family to visit all of the states." So I asked him if he thought he would eventually reach that goal. He said, "Yes. I think I will, but probably not until we get solar-powered cars."

I thought that was a curious thing to say and so I asked him why he needed a solar-powered car to travel all over the country. Joel gave me this look of shock and said, "Now, Momma! You know that if I don't have a solar-powered car, then I'd have to buy all that gas and I'd end up being up to my knees in debt!"

Goodness ... I'm not sure how I didn't just fall over from laughing right then! But as soon as my son left the room, I just doubled over laughing. Oh, my! Kids say that cutest things ever!

My Future Grandchildren

I only have 3 children ... and they are no where near having children of their own. However, they are already planning to ensure that I end up with 78 grandkids! It is rather shocking to me too, but it seems to be the consensus among them that they should each have 26 kids so that they can name them from A to Z.

Joel wants all boys. Julia wants all girls. Nathan stated that he would have 13 boys and 13 girls because he wanted to be "fair" to his wife. That was awfully nice of him, don't you think?

Tonight's great entertainment was 3 kids laying on the floor writing out a list of names for these future children. I'll share their lists with you:

Joel's Names:
Adam, Barry, Chris, Derek, Eric, Frank, Grange, Henry, Iracus, Joel, Kart, Lopsy, Marvin, Noel, Opman, Pick, Quennel, Rick, Som, Tucker, Uranus, Varcus, Walden, Xaiver, Yiracus, and Zeptar.

Nathan's Names:
Amos, Beatrice, Calista, Daniel, Elexia, Franklin, Gorgan, Harold, Ignatious, Jessica, Kathy, Linus, Malik, Nathan the 2nd, Oliver, Petrinus, Queenie, Rick, Stacie, Todd, Ursula, Victoria, Wayne, Xavier, Yolanda and Zavian.

Julia's Names:
Avie, Bailey, Cinderella, Destiny, Ella (after Ella Enchanted), Fiona, Ginger, Heather, Ivy, Julia, Katie (after my mother), Leah, Mary, Norah, Olivia, Paisley, Queen, Rosie, Sovinna, Tonya, Uvonna, Violet, Wendy, Xerenia, Yolanda and Ziphorenia.

Some of the names make me shudder! All I can say is that Christmases ought to be very interesting.

A Kindergarten Dream Come True

Today was a red letter day for Julia ... one to mark down on the calendar and anticipate with great joy. If you guessed that perhaps she got to meet the Disney princesses or the Care Bears or Hello Kitty in person, then you would be wrong. And she wasn't named Hannah Montana's new BFF either. I'm terribly sorry but no one placed a crown on top of her head and named her "Princess of the World for a Lifetime." You'll just have to guess again! Or better yet, I'll go ahead and tell you since I'm sure you'll never believe it either.

This is what Julia told me last night, with her hands clasped tightly together and her eyes bright with excitement:

"Momma ... you'll never believe it but it is true and for real and I am not making it up: Tomorrow is party jumper day at school ... and (small gasp) I am the leader!!!!" (all of which was followed by squeals of excitement and clapping of hands)

I can only imagine how very exciting it must have been for little Miss Julia to lead the entire class of kindergarterners all the way from the classroom to the playground for their end-of-school party jumper recess.