Monday, September 14, 2009

The Definition of Me (Part 10/10)

I am fascinated with Facebook. I love connecting with friends from high school and college. I enjoy reading what other people have to say about their life. And, even though I hate to admit it, I really like to take the facebook personality quizzes.

I waste far too much time taking tests that tell me which soft drink I am most like (Dr. Pepper), which Little House character I am closest to (Caroline “Ma” Ingalls), which Gone With the Wind character I most resemble (Melanie Hamilton), which Pooh character (Pooh himself), and on and on.

These quizzes are so totally bogus, and yet I’m always so curious to see what result I will get. Sometimes I am pleased with the result that I post it so that everyone can see my fantastic result. There have been times that I am so disappointed in the results that I actually take the test again to see if I can get a different result. For some reason, I am obsessed with having myself defined by someone or something else.

I’ve taken a variety of personality type indicator tests for my jobs in the past. One popular personality indicator uses colors to describe people: blues, greens, reds and yellows. I nearly always turn out to be a yellow.

There is another personality test that relates people to animals: beavers, lions, golden retrievers and otters . I tend to get a strong golden retriever result.

Then there are sanguines, melancholies, cholerics and phlegmatics. I usually test out to be a phlegmatic.

I couldn't possibly leave out the exhaustive Myers-Briggs personality indicator. You can be an E or an I (extrovert/introvert), an S or an N (sensing/iNtuition), an F or a T (feeling/thinking), and a P or a J (perceiving/judging). With sixteen different personality types to pick and choose from, I figured it would be very definitive in describing my personality. Wrong ... I’ve yet to get a consistent result on the Myers-Briggs. Trust me when I say I have taken it multiple times, and each time I get a different result

There are other ways in which people describe who or what they are in order to give themselves a label.

Night owl or early bird?

Introvert or extrovert?

Saver or a spender?

Chatty or the silent type?

Sweet or sassy?

I’m not definitively any of these things. And I’m like this is so much of my life ... sitting on the fence, living life in the middle of the road, not given to extremes.

Sometimes I wonder exactly how my personality can be described ... what is it that makes me unique and how am I different from the rest of the world. Quite often I feel undefinable. Even though tests say I’m a yellow, phlegmatic, golden retriever with tendencies toward being an introverted saver at times and an extroverted spender at others, none of that really gets to the heart of who I am.

That’s because the only way I can be defined in through Christ Jesus, my Lord. He’s my Creator and made me to be uniquely me. I’m made in His image and I’m designed to be who He created me to be, whether or not it fits any particular personality indicator quiz or not. Furthermore, the only definition of me that matters is God’s definition!

This entire series of notes has been an outcome of 2 years of searching for who I am and discovering that it really doesn’t matter all that much who I think I am or how the rest of the world defines me. There is only one definition of me that truly matters. I’m learning to seek the definition of who I am in the One who lives in me ... the One who loves me most of all and who is holding me (with all of my dreams and hopes and desires) in the palm of His hand as He sings over me with the most amazing love songs.

Therefore the tenth important thing that you should know about me is that I am only defined through Christ, my Savior.

I’m good, I’m bad
I’m everything in between
I’m this, I’m that
But ...
It is Your love that defines me.
~Definition of Me by Stephen Curtis Chapman

When it comes to my identity
I want the love
I want the light
I want the beauty
On the inside
I want the one that you can't see
To be the definition of me
~The Definition of Me by Mandisa

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