Tonight at supper, I asked the kids to tell me about school.
Julia said, "I'm the prayer this week." This means she gets to pray at the start of school each morning and again at lunch time. She told me that today she prayed that KayTee and Poppa (my parents) would come visit us soon. I'm sure that all of first grade was grateful for her prayer.
Nathan shared next, saying that Mrs. Roberts had to spend "at least 20 minutes every single day fussing at the same people for the same things." I told him that I was well aware of how poor Mrs. Roberts must feel. Knowing Nathan the way I do, I'm very sure he is part of the "same people" that are doing the "same things" every day. Poor Mrs. Roberts! I feel for her. I really do.
Then it was Joel's turn. He announced, "Momma, there is this girl in my class and I'm scared of saying her last name. I just can't say it. It's too close to a really bad word! So I just call her Megan. I hope she doesn't mind that I never say her last name."
I was reassuring him that I'm sure Megan didn't mind if he only called her Megan, when Nathan piped in and said, "Aren't you curious as to what her last name is, Momma? I know you are! I can tell you her last name without saying the bad word. Her name starts with a B, but if you took the B away it would the same word that means a donkey or a butt."
I said, "Oh, her last name is Bass?"
Joel yelled, "Shhhhh! Momma! It's just too close to saying something ugly! You might accidently say it wrong and then you would have cussed!"
Nathan said, "Yep. That's why we just all call her 'Catfish.' "
Joel added, "Do you get it? Catfish and her last name are both kinds of fish. We all call her 'Catfish' so we don't accidently leave off the B in her last name."
I told them that I was really sort of confused as to how one could accidently leave off the B in a person's last name. It just seemed highly unlikely to me and that I didn't think they should be scared of saying her last name.
Meanwhile, Julia (who has been off in her own little 6 year old world of carrot sticks and ranch dressing) suddenly asks, "Wait! Megan means donkey?! I didn't know that! I didn't know Megan was a bad word. How come some little girls are named bad words?!"
And so, round two of really insane dinner-time conversations begins ...
After a few more minutes of this rather ridiculous topic, I announced, "This conversation is over! I think it is best for all of you to just call Megan by her first name. I seriously doubt she minds. I also advice you all not to call her 'Catfish' anymore, as that isn't really a compliment and I'm sure most little girls would rather not be nicknamed after such an ugly fish. I'm sure she'd just rather you call her Megan and leave it at that."
Next time, I will definitely think twice before I ask my children what is going on at school!